On the brink

19 years ago I was on the brink of becoming a mommy again.  Deep down I just knew I was having a baby girl and when she announced she was coming early, I knew my girl would be feisty.  Lively, determined and courageous that is what the dictionary says.  And this is my girl.
How do you tell someone you watched take their first breath and who takes your breath away what you feel for them?  How with each day that passes, you are amazed and challenged by their determination.  How you see a reflection of yourself from years ago and wonder if you have forgotten who you are. 
All the emotions wrapped up in being a momma..
You want to hold on so tight and cushion every blow. And filter the bad and the ugliness of life.
You want to safely plant them on firm ground with full esteem
You want them to see themselves as you see them with all the untapped

potential just begging to be inspired.
You want to take the sting out of the no's and the unchecked likes.
But you can't.
The releasing is as important as the birthing into this world. 
God is the only one who truly holds you.
So my greatest hope for you is that you allow Him to.  Release yourself into who He says you are and His will for you.
Because the world and it's promises, people and their fickleness, will disappoint.  Even your mom despite all my greatest efforts will be unable to always be just what you need at just the right time.
Darkness and shadows will make threats and storms will come.  God and your faith will be what stands true.  Love what you wrote the other day- about the calm within the storm on the brink of turning 19...."We need to stop trying to calm the storm. God's peace isn't found in the calm. It's found within the steadfastness during the storm."  

You hold on to that baby girl - everyday.  Jesus is what calms.  Nothing else.
And all of us who are on the brink or maybe have lost a step along the way, He still has you.  Hold on.

May today be beautiful and fun,  that you feel so very loved.  But most of all may it find you resting in Him. 
Happy Birthday.
I love you to the moon and back again and again.
Mom