Heart Series 2
H I M
His strong hands all dried from the crisp cool air gripped the rake as I gazed on from my chair. Me sipping my morning coffee snuggled in my robe and blanket on a lazy Saturday morning and him already up for more than an hour with chores to be done. I had already slid the glass door pleading him to let me help him........rather unconvincingly all tied up in a robe and disheveled. He just smiled and replied, "I am almost finished, you just enjoy the quiet before the kids are up".
This I knew he would say. Because this is him, my husband,
whom I love and vowed til death do us part almost 22 years ago.
22 years of marriage. Of love and life. Tears welled as I sat back in my comfy chair still warm. He loves me. He knew I needed this quiet and these moments.
Loving a man for a lifetime. How is a woman to do that and do it well? To know that her husband is being loved as he needs to be. I contemplate that as I sip and watch him. Am I loving him enough? Does he know?
There are the days when love seems full and words flow and moments catch your breathe.....
there are others that rip and tear at the fibers.......casting shadows.....kindling doubt.
It is a wonder, miracle really that a marriage can stand. That two people can love for a lifetime.
He is gone from my sight now, cleaning up, washing away the sweat and dirt. And our day will take off with errands to run, things to be done, kids to keep in line, arguments to break-up, projects to finish.........all of what makes up this life. Our story. Yet, in these still moments as I hear the shower turn off, I go to him.
"thank you"
"No big deal", he says. "Got to get done."
What I wanted to say was YES! It is a big deal and I know that you are out there loving me. And I am sorry that I often miss it......the ways you love me.
But I didn't.
I am learning though, to see his love. He needs to know that I KNOW when he rakes, he loves. And when he interrupts his day to help his wife who locked her keys in the car........and tells her it's going to be okay. He loves.
And when he tells me I am beautiful as he gazes at me.........even disheveled in a robe. He loves.
Allowing him to love me........his way. Not turning it away because it doesn't match my way.
Opening up my grasp of what love must be. Not expecting all the words. Letting go of my breath when he is silent, granting an occasion to see. To see him love.
In effect I am catching the winks and the twinkle in his eye.
Offering him the opportunity to love me has cleared the way ........
bringing an intimacy of that which I didn't know I needed.
It is my turn to shower and ready for the day, and he goes to get the kids moving........
there he goes loving me again.
See how it changes your perspective of love? We will continue this discussion tomorrow.
This I knew he would say. Because this is him, my husband,
whom I love and vowed til death do us part almost 22 years ago.
22 years of marriage. Of love and life. Tears welled as I sat back in my comfy chair still warm. He loves me. He knew I needed this quiet and these moments.
Loving a man for a lifetime. How is a woman to do that and do it well? To know that her husband is being loved as he needs to be. I contemplate that as I sip and watch him. Am I loving him enough? Does he know?
There are the days when love seems full and words flow and moments catch your breathe.....
there are others that rip and tear at the fibers.......casting shadows.....kindling doubt.
It is a wonder, miracle really that a marriage can stand. That two people can love for a lifetime.
He is gone from my sight now, cleaning up, washing away the sweat and dirt. And our day will take off with errands to run, things to be done, kids to keep in line, arguments to break-up, projects to finish.........all of what makes up this life. Our story. Yet, in these still moments as I hear the shower turn off, I go to him.
"thank you"
"No big deal", he says. "Got to get done."
What I wanted to say was YES! It is a big deal and I know that you are out there loving me. And I am sorry that I often miss it......the ways you love me.
But I didn't.
I am learning though, to see his love. He needs to know that I KNOW when he rakes, he loves. And when he interrupts his day to help his wife who locked her keys in the car........and tells her it's going to be okay. He loves.
And when he tells me I am beautiful as he gazes at me.........even disheveled in a robe. He loves.
Allowing him to love me........his way. Not turning it away because it doesn't match my way.
Opening up my grasp of what love must be. Not expecting all the words. Letting go of my breath when he is silent, granting an occasion to see. To see him love.
In effect I am catching the winks and the twinkle in his eye.
Offering him the opportunity to love me has cleared the way ........
bringing an intimacy of that which I didn't know I needed.
It is my turn to shower and ready for the day, and he goes to get the kids moving........
there he goes loving me again.
See how it changes your perspective of love? We will continue this discussion tomorrow.
