Heart Series - Part 1
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| Dale pushing our 3 with their cousins Memorial Day 2011 |
As your tummy swells or as you wait for the call to come that the adoption is final, either way you dream of what this precious life will mean for you.
You may read books, talk with the experts and your already-mommy-friends, your own mom and surf the net for all the answers. Because you want to be prepared and not make the silly mistakes you have watched other moms make over the years. No one is going to roll their eyes when they see you in the midst of motherhood.
Filled with stroller strolls through the park, outings to the mall, and leisure trips to the market, you and this new life will experience it all with grace and joy.
We dream from the moment we lay eyes on our babies of what they will become. What we will become. And as the days roll on, the more we realize that so much of what they become depends on we decide we are going to become.
Being a mom is hard work. And it's not necessarily in the loving because yeah, we love our kids. But it is in how we are choosing to love them everyday. And that is the challenge isn't it?
While I love my kids with a love that I would otherwise never have known, and they bring me a joy that I would have otherwise never have experienced, I have also been completely undone.
Challenged to the very core. It has caused me to question, doubt and fear myself and my decisions. Motherhood has shaped me and given me wisdom. There have been moments that I thought my heart would burst with pride........and moments it felt as if it would break in two.
And in the breaking down.......
the building up, I have grown. Transformed.
My journey as a mom is now it the really fun years. Teenagers.
Never before has the verses in Ephesians 6 spoken to me as they did the other day when I opened an old Bible of mine that I haven't used in a while. A paper fell out and it was as if God sent me a special message. Obviously, I had taken notes from a parenting sermon or seminar. It had no date but it was in my handwriting.
Ephesians 6:1-3 is a easy one to quote-- Children obey your parents. We as parents of pre-teens like to use that one especially. Honor your father and mother, yeah I remind my teenagers of this at times and how it goes on to say that if you do, life will go well for you and you will enjoy long life on earth.
But it was verse 4 that brought the pause. Fathers, (and mothers) do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Exasperate? What does that mean in my day to day life? This is where the notes come in all written neatly in my own younger mom writing.
Here is what I wrote was the meaning of Exasperation-
Over-Protection
Favoritism
Pushing for Achievement
Discouragement and Criticism
Failure to Sacrifice
Failure to Allow "childishness"
Neglect
With-drawing Love
Cruel Words and Punishments
How am I doing? It's difficult to see my own lacking. In fact, I could casually brush it off with a - well I'm doing pretty good. If I am to be transparent, there are gaps. Places I need to improve.
I want to be intentional, right? Intentional with these given to me to prepare for the world.
And so I am working on my part of not exasperating...........
and holding the standard of my kids to Honor.
Will continue this discussion Monday with Children Part 2
What are your thoughts?
